Ashley Lazlo

  Katherine Getting off the early train and putting my luggage in a locker I spent my first day in the city trawling property rental offices.  My grad-friends are already taking their gap year doing the things graduates from wealthy families do; nanny in Tuscany, backpacking the antipodes, digging wells, that sort of thing, all on family money. Don’t get me wrong I have done all those things and more in summers past. I was not even intending taking a gap year after graduating.  Until first night home.  Until Boris suggested we get engaged.  Until I had gotten home.  As late as it is my parents are still up, drinking tea. They pretend not to have prior knowledge when I tell them my news, Mummy even fake-surprise hugs me.  Boris’s family and mine are neighbours, well their land borders ours. Boris and I have been a sort-of item since our late teens. I imagine our families have already been secretly planning a party. As late as it is I spring my engagement avoidance idea on them s

My worries began slowly at first then speeded up - friends and workmates were settling into long term relationships in ever increasing numbers.  If the trend continued I would soon be the only singleton left sitting at some sad singles bar.  Saturday night and I was at home! - alone, feeling sorry for self, listening to Miyuu ( what else? ), researching; how do bisexual people cope in a long term relationship… all this while couples were sitting on sofas together and binge watching a Netflix or at dinner parties of two, four, six, or some other unknown but even number.  And I had been wanting some of that for a while - not the dinner parties, the other thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not some desperate thirty-year-old shelf-person, or a one nightist, I mean Monica and I were together for a few months. And there was Brian before her - we lasted nearly as long. While I am being so honest about everything I might as well admit I was the reason for the breakup both times. I do it time and