Reginald the Under-Dresser

Reginald was always at his happiest in the library although not at ease. He wondered if people purposely put books in the wrong place, surely they could not fail to understand correct order and the beauty that the Dewey Decimal system imposed. He had even seen the assistant librarian misplace books on occasions and although he said nothing he felt calmer once he had secretly placed the books in their correct positions.

Reginald was on the waiting list to be a library helper like Joan, Reginald liked Joan and she had helped him get a volunteer spot at the charity shop in town.

Joan was an empty-nester, a mum whose children had now left home. Just like many middle class couples her husbands high paid job left Joan free to undertake charity and voluntary work within the community. 

Gwen, a single parent with one daughter worked as a full time manager for the charity and like Joan she was a generation older than Reginald. Gwen was pleased with Reginald’s work, once soon after he began working at the shop she had said to Esmeralda (Reginald’s social worker) how quickly he had become a valued team member.

Esmeralda had said what a good idea helping in the shop was, she joked that it would keep him out of mischief until the college year began and Reginald went to The City College. 

Reginald had overheard Esmeralda explaining to Gwen about his Aspergers which he understood but did not understand what mischief he was being kept from, nevertheless he was enjoying his four half days each week helping at the charity shop. Reginald’s job was to sort through the black sacks of donated clothes and sort them into the correct bins.

First day had been difficult, Reginald was set to work in the sorting room, Gwen had told him how to sort the clothes and Reginald immediately began carrying out her instructions. As the end of his half day neared Gwen came to inspect Reginald’s work.

“Why have you put all of the women's and girls clothes in the trash?” Gwen asked

“You told me to” Reginald said

“I told you to put old damaged clothes in the trash” Gwen said

“You said ‘put the old damaged clothes and anything I would not want to wear’ in the trash” Reginald paused to smile as he had been taught “which is why I put all of the women's and girls clothes in the trash Gwen”

Gwen could not keep a straight face or fault Reginald’s logic, he had done exactly what she had told him. With Joans help Gwen built up a full picture of Reginald’s background. He had lived with his maiden aunt Audrey after his mother had died when Reginald was only twelve, was quite old fashioned in every aspect of modern life and despite being odd in some ways had won a full mathematics based scholarship at The City College where he was due to start in the coming autumn. Gwen’s daughter Ella would be starting at the same college and she thought it would be a good idea for Ella to know someone before starting at the college.

Occasionally Ella would call into the shop to meet Gwen at lunchtimes and it was one of those days that Gwen sprung her trap as Reginald was working in the shop.

“Coming to lunch Mum?” Ella said

“Sorry Ella, too busy today…I don’t think you have you met Reginald have you?” Gwen said then suggested Ella go to lunch with Reginald as she introduced them. 

What Ella took to be her mothers clumsy attempt at matchmaking had put her in a grumpy mood. Worse still was being seen in the Coffee Shop with Reginald - a maths geek by her friends, especially being seen by Alan the hot guy she fancied. Ella worried that Alan would think she was on a date with Reginald.

Reginald did not know anything about the law course that Ella would be taking and she had no interest in mathematics, they struggled to find any subjects of common interest.

Ella was at home waiting for Gwen that evening. “Making me go to lunch with Reginald, how could you do that to me mum?”

“If you know people when you arrive at The City College it will be easier” Gwen said “Reginald is a nice young man”

“But mum Alan saw me sitting with him” Ella whined

“Well Alan is not going to college” Gwen said hiding any hint of pleasure in her voice “at least Reginald could be someone you already know”

“But mum he is weird” Ella said

“I thought that at first but he is just shy…and sweet in a way” Gwen said and giggled “and he even opened the door for you…”

“You were watching? Then you go to lunch with him if he is so sweet” Ella snapped back before heading to her bedroom to sulk.

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Reginald was listening to Joan and Gwen talking as they priced up items for the shop while he sorted the bags of donations that had arrived earlier. 

“I miss them in a way” Gwen said

“Back then my boyfriends hated them, but I loved the way they hugged me all day” Joan said

His interest peaked at the thought of wearing something that would hug him. Reginald recognised the garment Joan and Gwen were talking about as a girdle, he had seen from the washing drying on the line at home that Aunt Audrey still wore similar things.

In his usual thorough way Reginald decided to set about finding a way of experiencing the ‘hug’ for himself. He knew that Aunt Audrey would not be a suitable source of a girdle as she was tiny. The girdle that had been the subject of discussion had been thrown in the trash pile as the shop did not sell underwear and would be a good starting point.

Reginald put a couple of pairs of trousers aside for himself to try on when the changing cubicle was empty, taking the girdle from the trash pile he slipped it between the trousers. Reginald tried on the girdle and it was far too big to provide the promised hug that Joan talked about to Gwen. 

The size label was a mystery and it was not until Reginald had a chance to research women's clothing sizes in a book at the library next day that he was able to understand what size he would need to look for.

His hands shook as he checked the size label for a second time, the girdle he held was what he estimated would fit him. Reginald carefully folded the girdle and had just finished putting it in his backpack when he noticed that Joan was in the sorting room. 

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Friday’s Ella usually met her mother when the shop closed and they would treat themselves to dinner out. She had been avoiding the shop and Reginald at lunchtimes and she arrived at the shop exactly at closing time to make sure she did not have to talk to him.

“Hungry Ella?” Gwen said with a sly smile

“Starving Mum” Ella said puzzling what was amusing her mother.

“I know pizza is students favourite food so I have asked Reginald to join us as he has never eaten pizza…I hope you young people don’t mind me tagging along” Gwen said with a big smile.

Ella smiled even though she was furious with her mother. During the meal conversation turned to a fraud case that was being reported daily in the newspapers and was being tried at the local Crown Court, to Ella’s surprise Reginald was very knowledgable in the legal points that related to the case and they were soon in deep conversation. 

Gwen smiled and showed interest in the conversation but she was not surprised as Joan had told her that Reginald had recently developed an interest in the library's law section. 

Letting her excitement rule her mouth Ella said “I’m going to the court to watch the judges summary from the public gallery Monday” 

“I would love to go but I am working in the shop” Reginald said 

Ella relaxed knowing that there was no chance of him wanting to tag along when she spotted Alan with his mates a couple of tables away. Alan waved, Ella blushed as she chanted ‘shit, shit, shit’ inside her head. Seeing her with Reginald at lunchtime was bad enough but out for dinner with him and her mum was nearly seven and a half thousand times worse.

Suddenly Ella was drawn back to the moment when Gwen said “we can manage without you Monday Reginald…why not go with Ella?”

Reginald looked at Ella and waited…

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Saturday morning saw Reginald sitting in the reference section of the library with piles of law books on the desk. Joan was working in the library, Reginald seemed set to be there for the whole day she made him a cup of tea and sat next to him. 

“Why the sudden interest in law Reginald?” Joan said

“I’m going to the Crown Court to watch a trial with Ella on Monday” Reginald said, excitement showing he added “I want to understand what is going on so that I can talk to Ella about it”

“What else do you two talk about?” Joan said

“Nothing else, she is not interested in mathematics Joan” Reginald said

“But you are interested in law?” Joan said in an effort to put Reginald at ease before she asked the question she really wanted to ask.

“I wasn’t…but now I am” Reginald said

“Can I ask you something?” Joan said and Reginald nodded “something personal, you don’t have to answer. I noticed you slip a girdle into your backpack a while ago…”

Reginald had been expecting Joan to raise the subject of the girdle “I only took it to try at home, I put the money in the till for it…I was not stealing”

“No one thought you were stealing Reginald, I wondered why you wanted it…you don’t have to tell me. In-fact forget I asked, it is nothing to do with me” Joan said. 

Reginald was not in the slightest embarrassed and happy to explain to Joan. 

Relieved that the mystery was solved Joan said “I know from talking to Gwen that Ella likes fashion and pop music, she reads Cosmo”

Joan smiled when she passed by Reginald’s desk later in the day and saw that the law books shared desk space with the reading rooms back copies of Cosmo. 

 

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“How could you set me up like that Mum…why would you do it…he is weird” Ella said letting her voice raise as much as she dared. They had just left Reginald standing at the bus stop.

Ignoring her daughters thinly hidden anger Gwen said “He seemed interested in the fraud case as well”

“It was bad enough to make me have lunch with him, then you go and invite him to dinner…next you make me spend a whole damn day with him…”

Gwen cut in “that is enough of that language, who taught you to speak to your mum like that… Alan?”

“Sorry for the language, there is nothing wrong with Alan mum and he’s really cute” Ella said

“And a bad influence on you, he’s only after one thing” Gwen said

“I’m not like that mum…” Ella couldn’t resist adding “I suppose you want me to save myself for your Reginald”

“There is nothing wrong with saving yourself for your husband” Gwen said as she opened the front door.

“Oh…you plan to marry off to that weirdo…” Ella shouted as she ran to her bedroom and slammed the door behind her then smiled at getting the upper hand. Ella frowned as she remembered she would have to spend a whole day with that weirdo. He would probably talk about prime numbers or some other dull thing all through lunch.

As she lay on her bed sulking she had a brainwave, she would arrange for some of her friends to meet her for lunch on Monday. Ella’s mood improved as she thought about making Reginald suffer a lunch with teenage girls all talking at once about what interested them. He would hate it and she would be free of him forever. Inwardly smiling about her masterplan Ella quietly went downstairs to make Gwen a nice cup of tea.

———————————

Reginald was already waiting outside the Court house when Ella got off the bus. He smiled and said “love your dress…” then remembering Cosmo added “I haven’t seen you wearing it before have I, is it new?”

Ella had been in a really happy mood thinking about how she had booked a six seater booth at a noodle house and four of her friends would be meeting them for the whole two hours the court took for lunch. Her mood had changed in an instant “it’s just a dress…since when have boys noticed things like that?”

“Sorry Ella, I did not mean to embarrass you” Reginald said

“Lets get going” Ella said almost feeling a little sorry for being so horrid.

They sat opposite sides of the booth at lunch, Ella and Reginald were the first to arrive. Reginald scooted into the corner next to the wall as the other four arrived, Ella smiled and slipped out of the booth to go to the restroom leaving Reginald with four strangers. When she came back instead of sitting silent and embarrassed Reginald was talking to Ann and Angela. Sue and Sally were carrying on a separate conversation.

Sally said “thought you said Reginald was an awkward geek”

Sue said “he’s all chatty, like someone elses cute guy”

Ella smiled “yes just like someone elses guy thankfully” and the three of them giggled.

They ordered the lunch deal for six, the girls had said they hoped they would get forks  and Reginald asked for five sets of spoons and forks as well as chopsticks in Chinese. 

“You speak Chinese?” Sally called over

“Only enough to order” Reginald said

Angela said “Careful Ella someone might make a move on your boyfriend”

Ella said “he is not my fucking boyfriend”

The table went quiet and what could have been an uncomfortable moment passed when Reginald said “I’m not Ella’s boyfriend, fucking or not” even Ella joined in as the table erupted in laughter. 

Sitting at opposite corners of the booth Reginald and Ella did not speak over lunch and his attempts to start a conversation as they walked back to the court only resulted in one word answers. It was in the public gallery that Ella noticed what she was pretty sure was the outline of a suspender on Reginald’s thigh. She could not be totally sure just by looking and dropped her pen on the floor between them, quickly reaching for the pen she put her hand on Reginald’s thigh - it was a suspender.

———————————

Ella was curled up in an armchair that evening, she had said what a nice day she had at the Crown Court while she carefully avoided mentioning Reginald to Gwen. “I need to speak to you about Reginald mum”

Gwen looked surprised “what about him?”

Ella said “I have a confession…I invited four friends to lunch to make Reginald feel awkward so that he would avoid me in future and now I feel horrid for doing it”

Gwen said “I am glad you shared this with me, what are you going to do about it?”

Ella said “I was going to apologise, but…well I noticed something about him and now I don’t want to see him again - not even once to apologise”

Gwen said “that sounds serious, want to tell me about it?”

“Well, here’s the thing…” Ella paused “he was wearing a suspender belt, I saw the shape of the suspenders beneath his trousers, I’m not imagining, I even felt it to be sure”

“He was probably wearing the girdle he bought from the shop” Gwen said

“You knew and you still tricked me into spending time alone with him?” Ella said

“Did you ask him about it…or ask why he was wearing it?” Gwen said, paused then added “I know why and I don’t have a problem with you two being friends”

“Tell me then” Ella said

“No if you want to apologise or to find out why he wears a girdle you will have to ask him” Gwen said

“And how am I going to do that?” Ella said

“Reginald is working mornings this week, I suppose you could call into the shop and invite him for a coffee” Gwen smiled then added “I will tell you something before you decide, Reginald has been researching law books and Cosmo in the library for some reason…”

———————————

Reginald was working in the sorting room when he heard Gwen say “have you come to take me to lunch?”  

Then Ella’s voice say “no I’ve come to take Reginald for a coffee if you can spare him”

Ella could wait no longer, they were still walking through the park towards the coffee shop when she said “I was surprised when I noticed the outline of a suspender under your trousers Monday”

“I did wonder if that was why you touched it” Reginald said, smiled then continued “I heard Joan say that wearing a girdle felt like a hug that lasted all day, my Aunt Audrey does not agree with unnecessary touching but my mum used to hug me…and well…wearing the girdle just feels like having mum…”

Ella slipped her arms around Reginald and hugged tight.

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