Katherine and April

 Katherine

Getting off the early train and putting my luggage in a locker I spent my first day in the city trawling property rental offices. 

My grad-friends are already taking their gap year doing the things graduates from wealthy families do; nanny in Tuscany, backpacking the antipodes, digging wells, that sort of thing, all on family money. Don’t get me wrong I have done all those things and more in summers past. I was not even intending taking a gap year after graduating. 

Until first night home. 

Until Boris suggested we get engaged. 

Until I had gotten home. 

As late as it is my parents are still up, drinking tea. They pretend not to have prior knowledge when I tell them my news, Mummy even fake-surprise hugs me. 

Boris’s family and mine are neighbours, well their land borders ours. Boris and I have been a sort-of item since our late teens. I imagine our families have already been secretly planning a party. As late as it is I spring my engagement avoidance idea on them saying “I decided I will take a gap year after all”. They immediately want to know where that suddenly came from. 

In a way so do I. 

Pretending exhaustion I head upstairs to bed. Early next morning, while Mummy still slept, I revealed my nocturnally formulated plan to Daddy. 

“You understand I must appear to side with your mother” Daddy warned as I nodded my agreement “she must never know how much I approve”

As soon as I had told Daddy the details of my gap year he had offered support - financial or other. Then I noticed a look on his face that I took to be pride when I said how I wanted to prove I could make it on my own, no family money, “well perhaps enough to see me through the first month” 

He laughed in a nice way “everyone needs some seed-money” 

I have a booking for a week at one of the cities backpacker hotels. First night I lay awake reflecting how apartment rental prices are much higher than I had imagined and worry that wages might be much lower than I had imagined. Next day I awoke with more of a plan and dressed in work appropriate pant suit and loafers.

1. Get a job
2. Get accommodation within budget
3. Pat self on back

Simple - I began pavement pounding around employment agencies before a single backpacker had even crawled from their bed. Agency after agency acted as if law graduates were more common than pigeons in the city. Perhaps they were right. By lunchtime I felt more at ease with a couple of interviews lined up for the afternoon. Number one was a call centre, number two an office assistant. Both would let me know. 

I spotted a recruitment board as I walked past a hotel. I looked up - five stars adorned the sign. Asking the concierge for the managers name I headed to reception “Katherine Brown for Ken Eden he’s expecting me” I lied with enough confidence to ward off further questions.

As I waited in the opulent hotel lobby for Ken Eden, the general manager, to arrive, I couldn't help but feel a sense of apprehension. Never having interviewed for a job at a hotel before I wondered if my lack of experience in the hospitality industry would be too great a disadvantage.

Finally, Ken Eden arrived, a tall, elegant man with salt-and-pepper hair and a charming smile. He greeted me warmly and led the way to a private conference room where the interview would take place.

"Tell me about yourself, Katherine," he began.

I took a deep breath and launched into my spiel, highlighting my recent graduation from law school also mentioning my love of travel and a desire to work in the hospitality industry. I embellished my one night working in the student bar making it sound like I had worked in a real bar for much longer. Ken nodded thoughtfully as I spoke, occasionally interjecting with a question or a comment. When I finished, he leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers.

"I'm impressed, Katherine. You have an impressive background, and I think you would be a great addition to our team. However, I must warn you that working in a luxury hotel is not easy. The hours are long, the work is demanding, and the guests can be...challenging, to say the least. Are you sure you're up for it?"

I nodded. "I'm willing to work hard and learn quickly. I know I don't have much experience in the hospitality industry, but I’m willing to make the effort required to succeed."

Ken smiled. "I like your attitude, Katherine. I think you would be a great fit for our front desk team. We'll start you off as a receptionist, but there's plenty of room for growth and advancement within the company. Are you interested?"

I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. "Absolutely! Thank you so much for the opportunity.” Ken asked if I had any questions. “Just one…do any of the staff live in?”

And with that, I became a live-in receptionist at one of the most prestigious hotels in the city. Staff accommodation proved to be a carbon copy of the backpacker hotel. I shared a dorm with the hotel maids and waitresses.

April

Most of us call it ‘The Banks’ - a cycle/foot path that follows the riverbank on both sides. My friends call it ‘the foocle’ - well it was amusing at first. It might be a city of eight million but I know every runner and cyclist who uses The Banks at 5am, well I thought I did. The newcomer - a blonde girl appeared nearly two weeks ago now. Like a ghost she glides past, high pony swinging. She does this weird little finger wiggle acknowledgement as she passes, then streaks off as if she is running an eight-hundred. I take in a detail or two each time she passes by; the little designer tag on her sports bra strap, her £300 runners, the latest iPhone on her arm, yellow sport earbuds, a photo card on a lanyard. I mean who even wears a lanyard to run? 

My guess is she is from one of the new high-rise apartment blocks. Her pace is too fast for me but to satisfy my curiosity I pick up pace and follow her. I’m breathing hard as she turns off The Banks. They say curiosity killed the cat and I begin thinking it might be my downfall as well. She turns again toward the hotel. She disappears around the side. I follow into what I realise, too late, is a dead end. She smiles, swipes the card reader and opens the staff entrance door and steps back as if to let me pass.

Katherine

What I imagined to be a coworker behind me turned out to be the girl I pass on my run most mornings. Perhaps she is a coworker. I held the door for her saying “Good weather for running” as I wait for her to pass by. She looks horrified, says she thought the alleyway went somewhere. “Only to work sadly” I say with a smile.

“April Schultz” she says as she holds out a hand. We make arrangements to run together next morning.

Mummy had been horrified when I told her about living in a dorm until I politely mentioned how much Daddy paid for me to sleep in a dormitory at boarding school saying “and remember how much I liked that”

“Well I really do not understand why we can’t buy you a nice apartment” Mummy just does not get it. “And your father tells everyone who will listen how well you are doing…not that he mentions you living in a commune like a hippy”

“At least we can bulk buy our drugs” I say to annoy Mummy then immediately apologise as I hear Daddy chuckling somewhere in the background.

The next morning, I meet April, we run side by side. I settle in letting her run at her pace. We chat about our respective jobs and interests, discovering that we have a lot in common.

Over the next few mornings I feel April and I bonding over our shared love of running. “I’m on late shift today” I say on Saturday “are you free for coffee later?”

During my first days in the city I had passed the Law Centre where solicitors took on pro bono work. Now I sit in the building offering my spare time. “When I was finishing law school, I wasn't sure if I wanted to go into corporate law or do something more public interest-oriented. It's a tough decision to make.” I said to the office manager at the Law Centre. He nods, his eyes shining with excitement at my keenness. "I want to feel, inside I’m making a small difference”. I enthused “I know it's not glamorous or lucrative, but for now, I feel like it's what I'm meant to do."

Gradually I introduce April to some of my other friends from work, and she invites me to meet a few of hers. One evening, as we are sitting in a coffee shop, April turns to me with a serious expression.

"Kat, can I ask you something?"

"Of course," I say, pleased at her shortening of my name while sensing the gravity of the moment.

"I'm thinking of renting my spare bedroom," April says. "I've been living alone for a while now, and I'm just...not happy.”

I nod saying “then you should” thinking I understand completely I add "I know exactly what you mean.”

“We get along fine right?” April asked. 

“Of course”

April

“Would you like the room Kat?” I blushed as I realised how putting it so directly put so much pressure on her. “I mean it is not much, and the area…” 

Katherine looked happy as she nodded while I spoke. 

“We’ll be roomies” She giggled, gave me a cheek kiss. “And I like that…you calling me Kat I mean, Kat with a K right?”

“With a K” I said with a giggle as I drew a K in the air. 

Kat wanted to go get her clothes that second. We finally agreed the end of the month. I wanted to have her room tidy and decorated before she moved in.

Not that I told her that. 

Not that I told her what a status symbol having a roommate with a posh accent like hers would be.

But I did tell her how my gran had raised me in the apartment. How the tenancy came to me when she passed. I told her about the benefits and pitfalls of living an area of social housing.

In return Kat told me about her childhood. How she was sent off to a boarding school at eight-years old. I had guessed from her accent she came from money. Occasionally, little things she said in passing confirmed that. I was surprised when, finishing telling me about her college years, she said “if anyone asks about my background can you just say I don’t talk about myself” 

“Of course” I replied. It seemed like Kat was a private person and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

As the days passed, I cleaned up the spare room and began decorating it with some items I had saved over the years. I wanted Kat to feel at home and welcomed in my home.

Finally, the end of the month arrived and Kat came over with her bags. We chatted excitedly as we brought her things into the room and started unpacking.

As time went on, I realised that having Kat as a roommate was going to be one of the best decisions I had ever made. 

We already got along great, ran together every morning, and she was always there to lend an ear or offer advice when I needed it. Despite our different backgrounds, we had a lot in common and enjoyed each other's company. 

One thing I did not enjoy so much was her total ignorance that something called personal space even existed let alone be something that might possibly apply to her. 

Katherine

I realised April had had my room decorated when I wheeled my case in. After living in the dorm having a whole room to myself once more felt a real luxury. Mummy was super pleased when I had a FaceTime to show her my new room “don’t get too settled Katherine, remember it is only a gap year” she warned.

Daddy leant into view, winked. “Katherine can come home whenever she is ready” 

I love them equally but Daddy is the one I sound my half-formed ideas off of. He is the one I share my experiences at the Law Centre with and talk about my newly formed aspirations to become a human rights lawyer. He always listens and offers his perspective, which I value greatly.

We unpacked my clothes together, me taking things from my case, April hanging them in my closet. I noticed April discreetly stock-taking my clothes when she thought I wasn’t looking. “Borrow anything” I offered. She offered up her clothes in return. To show my gratitude (to April) for the room, I cooked dinner. Nothing fancy, fusilli in a tomato sauce that I knew she liked. By habit I placed the big dish between us on the breakfast bar. Unsure of her weapons of choice I handed April chopsticks and a spoon. 

April looked surprised, saying “You eat pasta with these?” She held up the chopsticks.

I nodded saying “I wolf down pasta too much too fast with a spoon” as I swirled a fusilli in the sauce with my chopsticks and offered it toward her lips. 

April

It took me by surprise when Kat fed me pasta as if it were the most natural thing to do. I must have blushed as she picked up a second fusilli and repeated loading it with sauce and I parted my lips once more. She ate the fusilli herself saying “see how it slows me down” I was so grateful she hadn’t noticed my expectation of being fed like a baby bird. 

She picked up two fusilli. This time she noticed me watching her every move. Again my lips (now on autopilot) part themselves slightly as she loaded the fusilli with sauce. Saying “go on…try the chopstick diet for yourself” she fed me the fusilli 

I said I liked her idea but couldn’t work chopsticks. There was no point in pretending I could. Kat demonstrated holding chopsticks several times and laughed softly (in a nice way) each time I dropped a fusilli. 

Saying “You are still holding them wrong” Kat moved behind me, her head rested on my shoulder, our body heat becoming one, she began adjusting my chopsticks. Somewhere in the depths of memory I remember my Gran doing something similar when, as a baby, I began using knife and fork. And I vaguely remember Gran guiding the fork that filled my small hand to my mouth. Kat did the same for adult me a couple of times with chopsticks.

Over the next few days I learnt, little by little, more about Kat’s childhood. I felt sad when she told me she was just eight years old when her parents sent her to boarding school. Kat sometimes described her schoolmates from that time as being ‘like a litter of kittens’ - that went a long way to explain her (unusual to me) ways. Initially I had intended mentioning I like personal space. Now, before I could guide the conversation around, I found myself beginning to like her unselfconsciousness. No, I mean I definitely do like her unselfconsciousness.

As I waited for sleep to come my thoughts wandered to my last live in boyfriend. Apart from bed he always insisted ‘I not get all soppy and cuddly’ - and look how that turned out. We had parted on bad terms when he became well…difficult. Like tuning radio station to radio station my thoughts jumped from subject to subject. Now I was thinking how friends occasionally mentioned I sometimes came across as a little stand-offish. The last thing I wanted was to be that way with my new roommate. 

Katherine

We quickly settled into a routine. I realised April must have been on a really tight budget before I moved in when she mentioned it had been months since she had a working television. Balancing my MacBook on our knees we binge watched Netflix together on the sofa most evenings. 

Other times we listened to music or chatted about our days or talked about our exes. On the calendar we had been roommates for a few weeks, I know it will sound weird but, in my head it felt like we always had been. 

One evening as we sat on the sofa I opened right up, told her about Boris, how his talk about engagement felt like a trap closing in around me. April was a good listener, she leant her head on my shoulder. As her arm paralleled mine I felt her fingers on my palm. Neither of us seemed to notice our fingers interlocking like it was our joint subconscious telling us it was okay to hold hands. Taking advantage of our relaxed closeness I mentioned my gap year for the first time. I felt the weight of April’s head lessen, she spoke for the first time in two or three songs.

April

“How long until you go home?” I hated the way I sounded so needy as I said it. When Kat answered ‘this feels like home now’ I kissed her neck. I silently cursed myself - now I am needy and affectionate…what the hell is wrong with me?

“Daddy will be fine with it. But I am dreading telling Mummy” Kat said, her head now heavy on mine. Locking us together like we are siamese twins.

The thing that struck me as being strangest about the evening was how adult twenty-four year old Kat sounded when calling her parents ‘Mummy and Daddy’. I mean we are the same age and if I had parents and called them Mummy and Daddy friends they would rib me forever. And yet Kat gets away with it - makes it sound natural even!

While Kat’s story had been one of being loyal to Boris come college separations or summer backpacking my romantic revelations consisted of a lengthly cast of players. “Who was the best in bed?” Kat asked as I reached Eddie (my last)

“What?” 

“Don’t answer, I was being nosey” Kat said. But I did answer, then regretted it when she giggled and followed up with “how many times would you cum with him?”

While I was burning up with embarrassment I wanted to answer, I had never had a friend close enough for a conversation like this. “One or two” I laughed “how about Boris?”

“Zero usually, occasionally one” Kat giggled then, as I puzzled over the conversation, went to make tea. She returned with one mug for us both to share.

Katherine

Two guys we met at a club took us to the beach. We wore running shorts and sport bra tops under our sundresses that would be fine for swimming or beach running. We packed our one backpack with water and towel. The guys had packed their backpacks with an unspecified number of beers. As April and I swam the guys finished the beers then declared the beach ‘boring’ - they were going to a bar. As we lay drying in the sun on the beach I said “They won’t be in a fit state to drive back”.

April tapped away at her iPhone saying “next town has a train station” As we ran barefoot the five sandy-beach-miles to train station town she said we should come beach running more. That suggestion made the day a success. Between us we had rail fare and enough left over for one portion of fish and chips. We laughed about ghosting the beer-drinkers as we sat on the sand waiting for the food to cool.

For a while April had seemed a little awkward about sharing food at home. Now we are on a busy beach and she breaks off a chunk of battered fish blows on it and holds it out to me. I bite off a piece and she feeds herself the remainder. Chips are shared the same way - I see a barely there little smile as I feed her the first chip. 

April says “you know Kat, I’ve never been like this with anyone” as she selects a chunk of fish for me.

“Men think sharing food is advanced foreplay” I laugh “and we all know how they can be when they get that idea”

April turns to me with a serious expression."Kat, can I ask you something?"

“Sure” I say lightheartedly.

“You know that office I work in?” I nodded, balled-up the food wrapper. “do you think I could do something more rewarding. Where I meet people. Like your work at the Law Centre”

April

When I told Kat about wanting a change in career I expected the same ‘ a barista…YOU?’ negative reaction I had gotten from Eddie. Kat listened intently  while I explained, while I took a deep breath “I want to be a barista”

“How long have you wanted that?”

“Forever” at least Kat wasn’t laughing so I pressed on. “We haven’t much money…I should wait a while?”

Kat smiled “You should resign”

“When?”

“Now, right now. Go on. Email your office” Kat said. 

Afterwards I told myself she leant over to encourage-kiss my cheek as I turned toward her. 

Our lips met. I could not say who was the kissee and who was the kisser. It only lasted one, perhaps two, seconds but that was long enough for someone further up the beach to shout get a room.

I said “Sorry, that was awkward”

“Ignore him?”

I acted on her advice, sent the email to work, had a mild panic attack as ‘undo send’ disappeared from my iPhone screen. 

On the train Kat made lists in the journal she took everywhere. Then asked me how many coffee shops within two miles of ‘our home’ The internet surprised me with one hundred-sixty-four.

When Kat said “That’s more than sixteen if only one in ten offered you a job” 

Saying “Those guys will be angry” I relaxed and let the train movement cover me moving my head onto her shoulder. 

“Those guys today were a nightmare. I think I’m going to take a break from dating” Kat said 

“Me too”

Katherine 

That evening on the sofa April rested her head on my shoulder I slipped my hand under hers, let our fingers intertwine. I liked it when we sat like that. “That man on the beach probably thought we are lesbians” April said in a sleepy voice. I replied we could have just as easily been sisters. “But we are not sisters” April sat bolt upright “what does that kiss make us?”

I had been wondering the same thing. “Don’t make a big thing of our lips touching by accident” 

“It was more than that Kat. More a first date kiss”

“Now I understand why you have so few second dates” I said with a giggle.

“Okay, so now you are a  kissing expert?”

I was telling April about girls at boarding school practising for when they get a boyfriend when I felt her head getting heavy on my shoulder, her breathing slowing. “That was awkward” I whispered to myself as I wondered what on earth I was thinking bringing that up.

You would think roommates would have little to talk about as they run. That was how it was in college. But we always do!

Somehow everything seems clear as we run - a perfect time to refine April’s plan to become a barista. We took turns at naming our favourite coffee shops. I smiled, bumped shoulders “not too far from my office then I’ll have more than coffee to look forward to when I come in” 

“Me too” April returned the shoulder bump “you mean seeing me?” She had been skirting around wanting to put a definition to our friendship for a while.“Does that make us sound like a couple or what?”

April had asked the same question before, this time I was prepared “Companions” I glanced over as she did her ‘what?’ frown. “Companions are two people who are more than friends. But not in the way couples are…you know…physically.”

April nodded slowly, processing my response. “So, we’re companions then,” she said, testing the word out.

“Yeah, companions,” I repeated, feeling a sense of relief that I had put a label on our relationship that satisfied April. An old-fashioned term that felt comfortable and safe.

As we continued running, we talked about what being companions meant for us. We agreed it showed a commitment to being there for each other, supporting each other through life’s ups and downs, and sharing experiences. It was a connection that was deeper than mere friendship.

April

For Kat and I, being companions meant that we could let our feelings for each other develop without the pressure of traditional coupledom. We could be there for each other without worrying about whether we were meeting society’s expectations of what roommates should be.

As we reached the end of our run, I  turned to Kat with a smile. “I like being your companion.” 

Kat said. “Me too.” 

I was feeling all warm inside. Not from running but for the way the closeness we shared was finally talk-about-able. 

“This is Katherine, my companion” I said as we ran for no reason other than I could.

“May I introduce April, my companion” Kat giggled, “now we are ready for navigating the tricky waters of a relationship neither of us had expected, with companionship as our anchor.” 

Kat always has a confidence about her like she is reading from a prepared script in a courtroom. And it gave me a new feeling of confidence when taking my CV around our coffee shop short list. Before Kat I would have been blushing and mumbling instead of saying “I want to move into a customer facing career and barista is top of my list of dream jobs.”

My keenness took the final coffee shop manager by surprise. I had saved my first choice till last and really wanted to be a barista in Coffee Café - Kat’s favourite coffee shop. 

I don’t think we have ever kept secrets from each other but I kept my second Coffee Café interview secret from Kat.

Katherine

April was in a strange mood when I left home to go home for the weekend. That is confusing - I mean was going to my parents home for the weekend to tell them I would not be coming back ‘home’. 

I replayed the past couple of days in my head trying to figure out what was wrong with April. I knew she was feeling anxious about changing career but that did not account for the way I caught her smiling to herself several times as I packed a couple of things for the weekend. 

And the horror film incident had been over a week prior…

…we had been on the sofa watching a scary movie, that was a first for us. When it finished we sat drinking tea in the kitchen before bed. I was thankful when April suggested we should put our bedroom lights on and brush our teeth together. The horror film had left us scared of dark rooms! 

I finally turned my bedside light out. As I lay in bed waiting for sleep to come I heard noises outside my door. Slowly the door opened and April, wearing a long white nightie stepped in. Breathing a sigh of relief I let out a little shriek and April mirrored my shriek. I giggled saying ‘I thought you were a ghost’

“I’m a little scared still Kat”

“Me too”

“Can I stay in your room for a little while?”

“Get in” I said as I shuffled onto the cold side of my bed. As April slid in she suggested we not watch films like that again. Feeling her hot breath on my shoulder I backed into her until we were almost spooning. We lay chatting, I avoided mentioning the horror film was her idea, our voices gradually getting sleepier until one, or the other, or both, of us fell asleep. 

Strangest thing about that (the horror film incident) was that neither of us showed any sign of feeling awkward as we got ready for our run. 

Second strangest thing was neither of us had mentioned it since (the horror film incident).

I had two separate pieces of news for my parents;

1. Living in the city.
2. My job offer.

“I have been offered a job with City Law” I began launching straight into a full explanation of how my pro bono work had brought me to the firms attention “and they already have a bunch of interns Daddy” I added to impress upon him what a big thing being head-hunted was. 

Mummy let my enthusing run its course before saying “the city is a three hour train journey, how will you get home?”

“Katherine cannot possibly commute from our house” Daddy cut in, then he outlined for Mummy why they should support me in every way possible “I expect Katherine will continue living in the city”

April

I let Kat get all her news out first, we have a long hug when she reaches the part about our apartment being her permanent home. We are still mid-hug when she drops her bombshell news on me. “I have a new job at City Law…the email came through while I was at my parents home” She did a little hop and I kissed her neck. Hearing her call her family home her ‘parents home’ made our companionship feel more real, more permanent. That instant I knew time to put my plan in action had arrived, my news could wait.

We were browsing Netflix that night “shall we watch that new zombie series?” I said as I pointed at the MacBook. Kat said it looked even more scary than the horror film. I agreed saying “we should watch it in bed” as my heart started racing away. The few seconds before Kat spoke felt like an eternity.

“You cannot wear your ghost costume tonight” she finally said. 

“Okay, shall we take some tea in with us?” I said as I headed for the shower. 

My mind whirled; six-parter, no binge watching, one episode a night. I giggled aloud, thankfully the shower covered my giggle. I put on my new sleep shorts and top just like Kat wore.

Katherine

April hates anything zombie related but here we are watching an hour long episode in bed. As I closed my MacBook she turned away from me “this is so nice, I hate sleeping alone Kat”

I loosely spooned her “I expect I might after we finish watching the whole zombie series”

“I think it might be too scary for me”

“We can watch something else tomorrow night”

Next morning I could not hold the laugh in. April asked what was so funny. I laughed again “when did you put your running kit in with mine?” 

“Don’t be mean to me Kat” April said with a blush.

After our run I made breakfast while April showered. She walked into the kitchen wearing a familiar uniform, did a twirl that ended with “ta-da”

“Coffee Café?” 

April nodded “I start this morning, come in when you finish.”

My morning shift at the hotel could not go fast enough. When I start work at City Law I would get coffee there every day I promised myself. I felt proud of April forging ahead with her plan and invited Veronica (my coworker/friend) to join me.

April was busy working the Gaggia under close supervision of her manager as we waited inline. I hardly ever take any photographs but this occasion called for several. Coffee Café is my favourite coffee shop for three reasons;

1. Independant
2. Superb coffee
3. Friendly staff

And now I had a fourth reason;

4. April

I let my iPhone rattle off a series of pictures as April turned. She smiled and introduced her manager saying “this is Katherine, my companion and our friend Veronica”

April

I felt my ears starting to burn as I turned and saw Kat standing at the counter. I’m sure I was full-blush before I had even taken her order. Then I felt such an idiot calling Kat ‘my companion’ (it was the first time I had used that phrase in the wild) but I felt sure ‘roommate’ would have hurt Kat’s feelings. I mean we are more than that.

“I often see you two around town” my manager mentioned a few days later “do you live with Katherine?” I answered him with a more relaxed than I felt ‘yes’ and I didn’t even blush!

I called in at City Law on my way home to wait for Kat. In a city of eight million the city centre is like what I imagine a village or small town to be like. City Law receptionists and most solicitors know me by sight from when the come into Coffee Café. But I doubt many recognise me out of uniform when I wait for Kat. The receptionist waved, picked up the telephone instantly falling into professional mode “Miss Schultz is in reception Miss Brown…I’ll let her know” she replaced the handset, smiled “two minutes April”

Kat asked when my rest days were as we walked home, innocently asked if I had anything planned, suggested we do something together. “I like the idea of that, what do you have in mind?” I said. Then Kat said she had not thought that far in advance - I should have taken that as a warning sign. 

We changed for an evening run and the subject slipped away.

“We could go to the country, gulp down fresh air as we pound the lanes” Kat said a couple of miles in.

“Sounds idillic, can we afford it?” I asked. We had pooled finances a while ago, Kat is the best financial planner of us. 

“I’m sure we can afford two train tickets” was enough to set alarm bells sounding inside my head “mummy and daddy want to meet the mystery April whom I share my life with”

Kat had me trapped, I had invented reasons to put off meeting her parents several times in the past. Now I replayed our earlier conversation where Kat had overcome my possible objections one by one before I had even had the chance to try them. 

I said I was nervous. 

Kat said they felt the same.

“Shall we go to ‘beach town with a train station’ for a beach run after work tomorrow?” 

Katherine

I said “beach town with a train station” adding air quotes to my quizzical face. “You know that town has a name right?”

April looked pleased with herself “I always think of it that way” she giggled “and so should you”

I put her strange mood down to nerves. April was back to normal soon enough joking how she had organised a sunny evening as well as train tickets.

We ran the full length of the beach from beach town with a train station. As we ran back toward beach town with a train station April talked excitedly about meeting my parents. I knew how big a thing that was going to be for her and instead of speaking I hooked my pinky finger in hers as we ran.

We lay on the beach, our bellies full of fish and chip supper watching the sunset. My eyes felt heavy, as I closed them for a minute April nudged me “no sleeping”. I mumbled like my mouth was on auto-pilot and realised, too late, what I had said. Now I was wide awake. I turned my head toward April - she looked surprised as she said “what did you say?”

“Nothing, I must have been talking in my sleep” I lied. In an instant April was astride me, my arms above my head, pinned into the sand.

“Tell me” April was laughing. I shook my head as she said “you think I don’t hear you whispering that when you think I am asleep?”

Now I was laughing as well “how would I know what I say in my sleep?”

April

I lowered my head as Kat pretend struggled. “Say it” I demanded as she raised her head, pecked at my lips and giggled ’no’. That was the only sign I needed to kiss her. 

“People will see us” Kat said

I kissed her again “then say it”

“I love you”

“Louder”

“”I love you, I love you, I lo…”

I silenced Kat with a kiss. Saying “I love you” I collapsed on the beach beside Kat. One ankle across hers. One pinkie finger around hers. “When did you know?”

“I wanted to say it last time we were here at beach town with a train station”

“Me too” I laughed “or perhaps one day before that”

On the train home Kat airplay-ed music to our AirPods. We hardly spoke until we were safely in bed then the floodgates opened “when did you feel we were more than companions” 

“When you pulled that watching horror films in bed stunt”

“I wanted us to be more than companions, but” I laughed nervously “I was frightened of loosing you”

“I was frightened of loosing you” Kat said with a snigger “now we sound equally needy”

I playfully poked Kat in the ribs “I’m not looking forward to sleeping alone when we stay at your parents”

Katherine

“Why on earth would you do that?” I brought my face kissing-close to April “Mummy knows we share a bed” I laughed softly and the talking was over.

I had two days to make that true. Un-pre-warned Mummy and Daddy would have been unable to hide their surprise. I stayed at my desk next lunchtime and began a FaceTime. “Boris and I had never been anywhere near this close” I told my parents as I added detail to my news headline. 

They may be old-fashioned in many ways but their daughter being in a same sex relationship didn’t phase them in the slightest. “Are you a lesbian or in a same sex relationship?” Daddy asked. That took me by surprise. Mummy tried to Shhh him without success. He explained “lesbian in as much as you prefer any women over any men or are you and April in love regardless of being women?”

I thought I had thought every possible scenario through. Not this one though! Certainly not Daddy being like some all accepting, twenty-first century, woke, LGBT aware person.

“The second thing” I said like a teenager. Regaining my composure a little “you know Daddy I never even considered that. Somehow I instantly knew my answer as if I had”

April and I have our best conversations in bed so that is where I said “would you say we are lesbians in as much as we prefer any women over men or are we in love regardless of being women?”

I waited, felt April take a breath “I think the second option accurately describes us. If we parted I could not imagine dating women”

April

I felt Kat’s tears on my shoulder, felt them track across my back and soak into the sheet. I turned over, hugged her “what is that about?”

“You have a plan for after us?”

Kat was full blown snotty nose crying, then I was as well “No, never” I mopped us both with the duvet. This was no time for hygiene concerns. “I mean I never want there to be an after us Kat”

Kat’s parents were so nice I felt silly having put off meeting them. And Kat had undersold the quiet, traffic free, country lanes where we could run side by side seemingly forever. We branched off the lane onto a footpath suddenly coming out, between two cottages, in a small village. The sun was up, I checked my watch we had been running for nearly two hours. “Want to stop for tea?” Kat asked as we neared a café. She tapped on the window and leant in the door, ordered a large Darjeeling saying “can you add it on Daddy’s bill?” 

A voice from inside replied “sure Katherine”  

“Thanks, I’m really muddy” We sat at a picnic table. Kat introduced Ella to me then said “this is April, my partner”

“You are business parters?” Ella asked, she looked surprised.

 Not as surprised as me when Kat replied “no” Kat glanced at me, smiled “partner as in life partner” when Ella went to refill our water bottles Kat whispered “I promise you that bit of gossip has gotten the ‘text-all’ treatment already”

Kat and I chuckled at the thought of our relationship status being the subject of gossip among the village.

Kat smiled and leaned in for a brief kiss, just as Ella returned with the water bottles. She paused for a moment, taking in the sight of the two women holding hands and sharing a tender moment.

"Sorry to interrupt," Ella said, smiling awkwardly. "Here's your water."

Katherine

“You should have seen the look on Ella’s face” I said when we got back from our run. 

“Stand by for a stream of visitors” Mummy said with a laugh. She likes to shake up the village grapevine and Ella is the county gossip champion. 

We stayed to Sunday lunch and, on the way to the station, meet Boris’s car coming the opposite way in the lane. As is the way in the country Daddy pulled our car alongside Boris’s and buzzed the windows down. They exchanged pleasantries then Boris edged his car forward to chat to me.

He might have been physically closer to me but his eyes discreetly took in April. I felt myself blush a little as I introduced them. With almost perfect timing a tractor closed in on us and we pulled away.

April asked question after question about Boris while we waited for our train. I fully understood her car-crash interest at meeting my ex. As the train pulled into the station I said “to sum up Boris is wealthy, successful, attractive and single” I helped myself to a little kiss “but he is not you”.

A little laugh escaped me when April said “meeting Boris in the lane like that was a coincidence” then I gave her hand a little squeeze as I explained; 

“Boris knows how long the drive takes from my parents home to the station and the times of trains to the city”

The topic of Boris had run its course and we moved onto the coming week. I mentioned now their gap year was over a few college friends were returning to the UK. I had intended saying ’us living in the city and near the airport means our apartment would be perfect for a nights stopover’

Before I could get that far April said “does that mean I get to meet your college friends? We must keep the spare bedroom ready”. She was even more excited at the possibility of visitors than me. I tried playing down the likelihood a little.  She took out her iPhone “I’ll make a todo list in Notes”. My iPhone beeped as she shared the list with me.

April

I am always excited about meeting Kat’s college friends, we’ve had several stay over the past few months. This morning Kat casually mentions her college roommate Rebecca and I’m in a real fluster. “Rebecca will probably stay a few nights, is that OK with you?” Kat asked.

We both decided to take a week holiday, show Rebecca around the city. Then I learn in casual pillow-chat Rebecca is not only college roommate but they went to boarding school together. Close friends since they were eight-year-olds. And, without any real reason, I lay awake for hours. My mind wanders as I try to slow my breathing, I convince myself Rebecca is like someone who can vote me in or out - as if I was living my life inside some awful reality show. My restlessness wakes Kat at 02:15. I tell her my fears (but not the reality show bit). We hug. I cry. It must be catching because Kat joins in. “Get dressed April” Kat says in a way that makes me want to hug her “we need a run to calm us both”. 

Kat was right, she always is. I had gotten myself into a panic-loop. I was feeling calm right up until we neared home.

“Hello girls” one of the guys said. He sounded menacing, the other three in the group eyed us as we ran nearer. “Where are you two running to?”

Kat slowed.

“Keep running” I said quietly enough for them not to hear. 

Kat stopped “morning Danny”

“Morning Miss Brown” he smiled “lads…Miss Brown who works at the Law Centre” the others said hi.

“This is my partner April Schultz” Kat said and introductions began like we were at some social evening rather than within stabbing distance of four of the estates most violent. “We couldn’t sleep”

“I might have something to help” Danny offered “no charge”

“We are good, but thank you for the offer” Kat did her usual little finger wiggle “bye guys”

“What happened out there?” I said as we showered. 

“What’s up, posh girl getting too street for you?” 

We laughed 

“You sure you are okay with Rebecca coming? I can put her off”

“Where is your car parked Kathereine?” Rebecca said at the airport

Before she could answer I blurted out “you can drive?”

“You cannot?” Kat giggled then told Rebecca we walk everywhere saying “parking is a pain plus everything is so close Becs”

I pondered Kats shortening of Rebeccas name, I would stick with Rebecca and hoped she did not start calling Katherine Kat.

Katherine

Knowing it would upset April I had pre-warned Rebecca about not calling me ‘Kat’ before she arrived. She still made a thing of mentioning it once we had become a ‘comfortable three’ around each other on her last evening with us. April and I were sitting on the sofa. Rebecca was draped sideways across the armchair talking in her usual casual way about how much she had enjoyed her time with us when she randomly said “II think Katherine likes it when you call her Kat, you know April, if I tried that she would throw a wobbly…you are such a cute couple in so many ways” I thin-lip smiled at Rebecca, pulled a face that she knows full well to be my shut-up face.

“Boris mentioned you guys were doing that pinky finger thing in the car when he saw you”

“You know Boris?” April said as she glanced down, as if surprised, by our hands resting on the seat between us, pinkies linked. 

“How could you not tell April Katherine?” Rebecca looked annoyed with me “I’m sorry April, I assumed Katherine had told you Boris is my brother” 

April let out a soft “Oh”

“What do you two talk about” Rebecca said with a giggle “I hear you talking in bed for hours, and if I know anything about Katherine, she talks constantly while running as well” April smiled, nodded a confirmation as Rebecca continued with her ‘Boris news’ “he has started dating. Told our parents he wants to come back after working all day on the farm to a big family and a housewife. I never said anything before, but, I always knew that could never be Katherine’s future April”

I tried to change the subject but Rebecca was not in a mood to be deflected and gradually told April everything I might have forgotten to tell her. It felt as if I was the sole audience member watching a play in a very small theatre. I let my head rest on April’s shoulder, my eyes threatening to close, when I heard Rebecca saying “have you two talked about the future?” I let my eyes close as if I had fallen asleep. 

“Not in detail” April said

“Katherine has always had difficulty expressing her hopes and dreams. That is why she is a solicitor and not a writer”

“It is fine that Kat and I don’t really talk much about the future”

“What about marriage?”

I imagined April would be blushing now. She did a little nervous laugh, “I cannot imagine introducing Kat as my ‘wife’. What I mean to say Rebecca is we are not lesbians. We are two people who fell in love and just happen to be same sex. Does that make any sense?”

“Does that mean you were in love before you were a couple?”

“Ages before, before we even kissed”

“That is so old fashioned…in a really good way I mean” Rebecca said how a generation or two ago that was how people began a relationship, often staying celibate until wedding night. “And couples like that lasted forever” I wanted to ‘wake up’ but I also wanted to listen. “Nowadays people sleep together first date…”

“Then first rough patch they split” April cut in. 

I sat up slowly in a way I imagined that I would look like waking from a short nap. 

April

“I knew from the sound of your breathing you were awake” I said in bed that night. Kat briefly tensed at her discovery saying she liked the way I had described ‘us’ to Becs, especially the not wanting to be called wives part. Then said she did like the idea of a physical sign of commitment.

No surprise Rebecca was still snoring when we left for our run next morning, Kat had pre-warned she was neither early riser or regular runner. I said “I will miss her” as usual Kat picked up on the context of my random comment instantly replying ‘me too’. We ran on without speaking for perhaps a half hour. I tested Kat with a more random  “like a ring?”

“Exactly…perhaps we can call them our bond rings?” Kat fired straight back. I imagine couples thinking of engagement or marriage spend along time talking over rings; style, shape, colour, and more. In minutes we had decided every detail.

Kat said “we have a half day free after we take Rebecca to the train station”.

After window shopping we picked a jeweller shop, the ‘all sizes in stock’ sign on the ring tray made it even more perfect. Kat asked to see plain platinum rings. Wedding bands? the sales associate quizzed. I pointed to a ring on the tray, Kat nodded when she glanced at me. It was that easy. When the sales associate measured my finger size I said “can you measure my friends finger as well please?”

The sales assistant looked puzzled when Kat asked if we could both try on a ring. Even more puzzled when she said “how much for both?”

Katherine

Walking home I cannot stop looking at my ring. I catch April doing the exact same thing to hers. We laugh as if the air is pure nitrous oxide. I telephone Mummy and ask if we can visit for the weekend. She sounds pleased with a little pinch of offendedness that I felt a need to ask. 

April sounds nervous when I tell her but agrees parents should be the first to know of our rings. 

She laughs, says “Except everyone at Coffee Café”

“Except everyone at City Law” I say right back and suggest we have dinner out. April sniggers, calls me a ‘show off’. I am sure our waitress notices but says nothing. In a way that felt worse than not noticing.

Mummy and Daddy were pleased for us. They both hug/cheek kissed April! - I mean even shaking a woman’s hand is a little too informal for Daddy. As I explain the meaning of our bond rings I say “we could not imagine introducing each other as ‘my wife’. What I mean is we are not lesbians. We are just two people who fell in love and just happen to be same sex. Does that make sense?”

April was in a teasing mood as we ran, taunting me about my little speech that I stole from her. “Were you taking notes?” April taunted as I turned down the muddy footpath.